Are You Sexually Compatible?
It may not seem like it at first, while you’re caught up in the throes of new relationship energy. Even if you’re not quite at the same level, you believe You see, new relationships are easy. All those chemicals flooding your brain – the deluge of oxytocin and dopamine making the neurons in the pleasure centers of your brain fire off like the fountains in front of the Bellagio – make everything seem amazing.
And much like the Bellagio fountains, it’s kind of cool at first but it goes off EVERY 30 GODDAMN MINUTES and makes it impossible to get anything done. JeniFoto / Shutterstock
There’s nothing that the two of you can’t do because you’re in love – the kind of love that nobody has ever known before!
Unfortunately, it rarely takes long for reality to set in. Once you’re out of the honeymoon period, then you’re faced with finding out whether there’s really any long-term potential here… and if you’re not sexually compatible, then you’ve got a ticking time-bomb hidden, waiting to blow your relationship apart. And like adventure games of old, if you don’t address it in the beginning, it can often be too late to fix things.
So before things get serious, you need to sit down and work out whether you have what it takes to go the distance together.
The Importance of Sexual Compatibility
We tend to have a complicated and conflicted relationship with sex. Even in the 21st century, we live in a profoundly sex-negative culture – just one that likes to think that it’s progressive. Our sexual education system is at best a glorified anatomy lesson; at worst, it’s a collection of lies and deliberate misinformation designed to (theoretically) keep children from having sex ever. We tell women to be sexy but not sexual – to be desirable but to not feel desire – while men are told that their worth depends on much sex as possible, setting men and women up for an inevitable conflict. Continue Reading